I've Loved You for a While
by longliveteentitans
Summary: After a tragic heartbreak can Beastboy finally confess his true feelings to Raven? Or is the pain in each of their hearts too great. A One Shot.


Beastboy knew pain. Both the kind of pain that required Band-Aids and the internal kind that only healed with time, but mostly the one that required Band-Aids.

In fact, he had only felt the internal pain two times since he joined the Teen Titans. One time was when he lost Terra, and the other, more recent time had happened six months ago.

With a little confidence and some buttering up from Cyborg, Beastboy had finally decided to ask Raven out on a date and tell her his true feelings, but when he knocked on her door, Starfire burst out and told him the 'wonderful' news that Raven was going on a date with a 'wonderful' civilian boy named Eric.

Beastboy was crushed, he was too late, but it seemed like it had been for the better because Raven could not have been happier with Eric.

But then, a week ago, she started to seem very anxious.

And then she disappeared.

Now it was the third day that Raven had been unusually absent from the tower, which is why a concerned Beastboy had been out all night scouring the streets for any sign of her.

It was approaching 5 AM, so he decided to call it quits and get some rest, but when he got home he found Robin, Cyborg, and Starfire sitting silently at the kitchen table.

They all stared at him, while silently daring each other to say something first, "What is this, an intervention?" he half-heartedly joked.

Their faces were solemn.

"Raven's back." Robin said.

Beastboy's jaw dropped momentarily, "Why didn't anyone call me?" he grumbled as he started running toward her room.

"Beastboy! She does not wish to see anyone!" Starfire yelled but he was gone before he could hear it. Starfire sighed, "Will she talk to Beastboy, Robin?"

He squeezed her hand, "I hope so. It isn't good for her to lock herself in her room

Beastboy took a deep breath, and was about to knock when he heard something in her room with his super human hearing.

She was whimpering, no, crying. He almost didn't recognize it as being her, he didn't know if he had ever heard her cry before.

He knocked twice softly then opened the door without waiting for her to answer it.

Her room was dark, despite the fact that it was lit by the glow on the horizon that could be seen through her large window.

Raven was sitting on the floor by the window, her head in her hands.

"Go away!" she sobbed.

Beastboy felt brave, so walked toward her slowly, "What happened?" he asked.

She looked up at him. One of her eyes was swollen and red, "Eric," she said, "Eric happened."

"What – uh – did he do that to your eye?" Beastboy asked tentatively, sitting down beside her.

She sniffed, "No, I did. It was an accident."

"Then, what happened? Why are you crying?"

Raven looked away, letting her hair fall in front of her face, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Raven, please tell me. I want to help you, but I don't know what to do."

"Beastboy," she looked deep into his eyes, "I know I always seem tough and emotionless, but I do have feelings, and I can get hurt. I am like this because my powers are dangerous, but also because I don't like to feel vulnerable. But Eric made me want to be vulnerable. He always said he would protect me, and that I was safe with him."

"But you weren't, were you?"

She shook her head, "He was writing things about me. About the things I liked, the things I did for fun, about my life in Azarath and my life here. He knows things that I have never told anyone. He was only after the money he could get from revealing my life story."

"Raven I-"

"Don't call me that! _He_ called me that." She pulled her legs up close to her body and tears started to build up in the outer corners of her eyes, "There is more. Last week, I found his journal, filled with everything about me. I confronted him about it and he said something about gifts for me and notes for future reference and I wanted to believe him, but it was unnerving."

"I noticed you've been acting strange this past week."

She glanced at him, almost as if she was reconsidering talking to him, but then she sighed and continued, "A few days ago I asked him about it again but he completely ignored my question. He just kept saying he- he loved me and how I was _so_ beautiful. I don't know how to control my emotions when he starts saying things like that." Her voice was becoming more forced, more painful for her "He started asking me how much I trusted him – I trusted him very much – and he started kissing me and complimenting me… I couldn't fight him. It wasn't the first time I had done it with him, but it was the first time I didn't feel loved. He was just…" she trailed off, then shook her head, "I started to push him off of me but he grabbed my wrists and squeezed them down into the bed, and slammed them against the headboard. I told him to stop, he was hurting me," she started to stare out the window, where the sun had had risen above the horizon, and she unconsciously rubbed her wrists. She then rolled up her sleeves slightly and held them up to Beastboy, they were red and purple with finger marks, and said, "He didn't stop until he was… finished. Then he had the nerve to lay there and stare at me, naked and crying like a child."

Beastboy gently took her hands and covered up her wrists, "Why were you gone the past few days? Why didn't you come home after this happened?"

Raven shook her head and pulled her hands away, "I was stupid. He said he was sorry. He asked me to stay with him at his house, and I forgave him, but then he did it again the next night. I wasn't going to let him touch me, but he did it anyways. I told him no, but he did it anyways. I was _so_ stupid! Why did I let him do it?" she mentally kicked herself for ever letting her emotions control her, when she should have been in control of her emotions, "Well, I pushed him off the bed completely right when he was… and he was so mad that he punched a nightstand and it cracked. Then he told me everything that I just told you about how he never loved me and how he would sell my story for millions and how I was _so_ easily fooled. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to run away so I flew from Jump City, but I wasn't watching where I was flying – I kept looking back at the tower and thinking about the others… and you – I ran into a building, which is how I hurt my eye. Then I came home."

After a moment of painful silence, Beastboy said, "I'm sorry."

He reached out his hand but Raven pushed it away "You're such an idiot sometimes," she said suddenly, "You shouldn't be sorry. It wasn't your fault. Azar, why do I always fall for the wrong person!?"

"I'm sorry. I just want to help make it better." Looking down at her bruised wrists, he wondered if she had been hurt more physically or emotionally.

"I know you want to help but you're just making it harder for me. _Please_ go away." She pulled up her hood and buried her face in her hands again.

"Don't make me leave. I don't want to leave you alone again." He reached for her fragile hand but she instinctively withdrew. "Why did you let him do this to you? You're strong, powerful; you wouldn't let some regular old guy treat you like this."

"But," she said, wiping her eyes, "He wasn't a regular old guy," She peered at him with cynical eyes, "You should know."

He had to suppress his feelings of guilt, betrayal, and broken-heartedness as memories of Terra flashed through his mind, "That's why I'm sorry, Raven!" he said angrily, "I'm sorry that I didn't do anything when you were with Eric, sorry that I couldn't sense he was bad like you did when I was with Terra! I know how you feel, except for when my heart was broken I knew that there was someone who cared about me enough to warn me about Terra, even if I wouldn't listen, and that person was you!"

"But it's my fault that I couldn't fight him…I loved him!" she gave in and threw her arms around Beastboy and sobbed on his shoulder.

He stroked her hair lightly and said, "He didn't deserve you. No one does. You're smart, beautiful, and caring, even if you aren't very nice all the time."

Raven sniffed and looked up at him, "You think I'm beautiful?"

Beastboy blushed, "You uh… you caught that, huh? Well, I do. I think you're more than beautiful, you're great and perfect too."

Raven snorted, "I'm not perfect."

"Yes you are, or at least you're perfect to me – for me."

"For you?"

"Yes, Raven, for me. I really like you and possibly even love you and I have since before you were with Eric." Beastboy's heart was racing. He just admitted his feelings to Raven and he wasn't sure if something would blow up or if he would get thrown out the window.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

Raven closed her eyes and a small smile appeared on her face, "I've liked you for some time as well, but I thought you would never like me so I started dating Eric to get over you. If I had known you felt the same-"

"You could have been spared this heartbreak."

"It's okay though, we may have never known how we felt about each other if this hadn't happened."

Beastboy chuckled.

"What?" Raven asked.

He leaned in and kissed her. Raven's bedside lamp exploded, but she still kissed him back. It was as if sparks were literally flying as spurts of Raven's magic flew out and destroyed seemingly every bit of glass in her room, but she still didn't care.

It was only when their friends came up to investigate the commotion that they separated with guilty looks on their faces.

Starfire looked from Raven to Beastboy's face, a grin slowly forming. Robin was blushing and looked away as if he saw something he wasn't supposed to see, and Cyborg's jaw hit the floor right before he started cooing, "Raven and Beastboy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N- ow!" a dark pillow smacked him in the face.

Raven used her powers to push their friends out and close her door.

"Where were we?" Beastboy asked innocently. Raven kissed him, pushing him on his back, "Oh, now I remember."


End file.
